Posts tagged Secretly Y'all

http://secretlyall.wordpress.com/

On Monday night I went to this event at Balliceaux with my girl-friend Caitlin. A night of storytelling based on the theme “___ in the Closet.” The first part of the night a bunch of storytellers who planned on being part of the event told stories, and then the last part of the night consisted of random people who put their name in a hat and got selected to tell a story on the spot. I was one of those people. I’m not usually the type to put myself in the center of attention, let alone share a personal story about my life with people I don’t know, let alone people I do know for that matter. But I had a story to tell, and it’s one that has been very prominent in my life for the past 7 months…or even longer actually.

I got a little discouraged and almost didnt put my name in the hat when I found out you couldn’t read an excerpt from something you’d previously written..see I’m pretty good at organizing my thoughts on paper, but not usually so good at speaking in a way that makes sense…but I decided that the story I should get up there and tell was one I knew well enough to pull out of my memory, so I went for it. And I guess life decided I was ready to share it, because my name definitely got drawn out of the hat.

I told a story about the most amazing way I’ve ever met a guy and started a relationship…but the real point of the story was to be honest with everyone and tell them that I proceeded to destroy all of that amazingness in a bout of anxiety, alcohol and sex…all forms of escapism, which one storyteller talked about..and living out of the rules of society, which another storyteller talked about. And part of the reason I had to get up there and share was because of all of the guilt I’ve been putting myself through, knowing what I’ve been capable of and knowing that not many people know that dark side of me. Yet another storyteller spoke of guilt such as this.

If I could go back to my storytelling event, I would have made a point to connect my story to all of the previous ones, because I always like to find a way to bring things together. But I’m really glad I got to share even though I kinda sucked at ending it. Caitlin told me its probably because my story is a story of love and life…it doesnt have an ending, its just another chapter in my book..